Make no mistakes back in the day I was a Tinder sniper. It was a fresh app, I was in my prime and I had just come out of a 9 year relationship. However – to say I was rusty when it came to smooth talking ‘the ladies’ was an understatement, any notches I achieved initially were purely right place at the right time because I was useless. Tinder changed all that. I had an app now, where I could use trial and error on multiples of girls and hone my skills in matter of days rather than months if attempted in the live environment. The key was you have to be different to get a response. Girls get 100s of sleazy “Hey cutey…lol” messages from gimpy guys that use a spray and pray tactic, so to not be ignored you have to go different route and don’t be like the most men. The second most important thing is punch above your weight, not ridiculously above it, you don’t want to be that “why the f*ck is she with him” guy, just a couple of basis points above your norm but never below your own standard or equal to it because, it’s Tinder – you can be picky, nobody cares.
1. I don’t even like cheese!
Open with this to get a response, if they don’t respond then they aren’t going to be fun anyway.
“Hi, I am Chris. I am 30 years old. I like fine wine, cheese and I have a 12 inch penis.“
Follow up with the second message straight after the first.
“Only joking. I don’t even like cheese!“
Unless you actually do have a 12 inch penis and in that case forget both messages and just put that.
2. Naughts and crosses (Tic, Tac, Toe)
Not one of mine, but I can see how it would work.
Then send a 3 x 3 grid of white boxes, you go first and take any box and swap it for an X.
“Your go. Naughts and crosses…“
You made a response easy for her and the chances are she will take you on. Let the game unfold and since you went first you will have the 7th and last go. The board should be looking like it’s going to be a tie, since you are an adult and getting beat at naughts and crosses would be mental.
“If I win you owe me a date 🙂“
She will say yes since it looks like a zero risk investment on her behalf, anything other than a flat no is a yes anyway.
The kill move is just make 3 X’s by adding an X outside of the 3 x 3 grid on your final go and reply
“GIRLS-NAME sometimes it’s about thinking outside the box“.
Enjoy your date.
3. Jump the gun
Flip the roles and act like the girl is pursuing you rather than the other way around which happens in 101% of all cases on Tinder and just skip to the date part.
“If I said yes, where would you take me on our first date?“
You literally put your head in the stocks with this one because women can be mercilessly funny when they get the chance but that doesn’t matter, you got the reply. It’s your job to close the deal from there.
4. Wanna steal my comfiest hoody?
This is an open and close in 4 messages.
“Hey, wanna steal my comfiest hoody?” (She says Yes)
“Do you prefer grey or black?” (She chooses)
“Great, I will be sure to wear it on our first date.” (Quick follow up)
“Speaking of which, when is that?”
5. Truth or Dare
It’s a classic and had to be in here. The first thing here is have few good ones lined up and women generally choose dare on dating apps.
“Truth or dare?”
“I dare you to post a meme of my choice on your social media.”
Get the response and the follow. Winner.
“I am heading out to get some coffee, what do you want me to get you?”
She replies with order.
“Great, I’ll drop it off but don’t ask me to come in. I have never met you before and I am not just a piece of meat.”
7. WiFi password
Smooth and fast
She will ask “Why?”
“Saves you asking for the WiFi password when you come round”
8. Connect 4
Draw the grid for connect 4 using the white circle emoji and take your turn, just send that. Most people love connect 4, especially females because they’re usually very good at it.
It’s a game that lasts long enough for you to edge towards the close. Just don’t let them win. Losers don’t win dates.
9. The Vegan loves a vegan
Vegans love vegans. They’re proud and they love nothing more than a fellow vegan.
You have to use the the girl Bio and find yourself a vegan. These chat usually follow this pattern but at some point they will ask the lead question for you to close but regardless, you will get a response.
“Hey fellow Vegan :)”
She may respond with a message of disbelief “No way!!” or “Yay!”
“Yeah! That’s why I swiped right”
The chat will usually go to “How long have you been a Vegan for?” from her.
“Since the start of this conversation”
10. Are you good at math?
So we all know the goal to convert on dating apps is move from the dating app to Whatsapp or similar. To do that you need the phone number. You can edge in with the classic “Shall we move this to Whatsapp? Chatting on here is painful” or……
You: “Are you good at math?”
Her: “Yes / Kind of / No”
You: “Let’s start with an easy one”
“15 x 2?”
You: “1 x your phone number?”
Then close on whatsapp.
That’s 10 dating app lines that are guaranteed to get a response. Sure you also need a fake job and an imaginary bank balance but these 10 openers will get you well and truly on your way to those ultimate goals. Good luck out there.